"Les Gardiennes"

Just like the residents that live within the walls they watch over, concierges come in all shapes and sizes. Some are relatively young and coquettes; others less so.
In Paris, many gardiennes are Portuguese. During the housing crisis of the 1960s, Portuguese immigrants were drawn to the concierge trade, so that they could give their kids a decent Paris-level education without having to pay Paris-level rent.
Despite such dexterity, to the many stuffy members of the French upper classes, gardiennes epitomize one thing: le mauvais goût. "You can't buy that throw for your sofa. My concierge has one just like it!" Or, "Tulle on your wedding car? Do you think you're marrying the concierge's son or something?"
But concierges can have an attitude of their own. Upon your arrival in their apartment building, you can expect to be looked up and down with a wary eye. They'll want to brief you on the residence "rules" and make sure you know who is boss. And if you want to receive your mail on time and have your palier swept and cleaned, you'd be wise to acquiesce.

Josiane Balasko as Madame Michel. [Online image] 2009.

"Pelouses Inaccessibles"

In France, even the grass gets vacation time. A long winter's nap, with only the pigeons' tickling feet to stir it in its sleep.
Even as Spring approaches, and scarves and boots are flung into heaps, a sign keeps watch: PELOUSE AU REPOS.
The Paris mairie has a web page dedicated to the city's grass and its much needed repos, explaining why "winter is a difficult time for lawns."
And, for once, Parisians obey. They keep off the grass every year until April 15th--and then Paris' parks and squares are transformed. The long deserted grass is suddenly blanketed with rejoicing sunbathers and picnickers, as children play ball once again, and toddlers' chubby hands grasp their new green toy.
After entertaining all of Paris for six months, it's little wonder why the grass needs a break.

Elizabeth Hartman and Sidney Poitier as Selina D'Arcey and Gordon Ralfe. [Online image] 1965.

Papers, Please

When you move to France, you learn pretty quickly what a justicatif de domicile is. You need copies of those pesky quittances de loyer and EDF bills to do everything from getting a library card to getting married. The French seem to love asking for an unseemly pile of photocopies--what they call a "dossier." With a RIB par ici and a bulletin de salaire par là, they're simply in paperwork heaven and will let you do just about anything. Just don't try pulling anything creative (like changing jobs), or you'll find yourself blacklisted from the whole system. And if there's anything the French like better than asking for a five-year paper trail, it's a chance to say, "Non."

Humphrey Bogart and Claude Rains as Rick and Captain Renault. [Online image] 1942.